^^ Why do I go to school?
~~To learn.
^^ To learn what?
~~To learn something knowledgeable.
^^ Huh? Tell me the truth. (that’s not a question, that’s an order). Why do I go to school?
~~How should I know?
^^ Because I’m actually referring to YOU. Now why do YOU go to school?
~~Because everybody does?
^^ Stupid. Not everyone goes to school. Now why do YOU go to school?
~~Didn’t you just ask me that?
^^ I did, but you did NOT answer correctly. Now spill.
~~I go to school … so I can earn a living… to have a decent job… to fulfill my hopes and dreams.
^^ Corny.
~~That’s not corny! –As if. What am I supposed to answer then?
^^ You should’ve said “I go to school because if I don’t, I don’t know what else to do.”
~~”That’s just useless.”
^^ No—well, maybe it is, but no… it should be “that’s just right”. Because that’s what you feel, correct?
~~You‘re stupid.
^^ Not as stupid as you.
~~Look who’s talking. Only a moron talks to himself and argues with himself on who’s dumber. Man, that sure is dumb.
^^ Yeah, you are.
~~Whatever.
^^ Whatever too, loser.
~~Whatever double loser.
^^ Loser, loser, double looser.
~~As if. Whatever.
^^ Get the picture?
~~Duh.
*^^ = Palamoonin ~~
= Chidori
*interviewing yourself gives you a headache—I’ll be doing this again. Haha…*
“I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell—try to be in my shoes, and you’ll see how frustrating it is to be suffering to go to school just to graduate, find a job, and continue your suffering” –from a student nurse’s POV—>Palamoonin.
But chidori
says…
à“Nah-uh. College is a PRIVILEGE. It’s a good thing there are ‘rents who support you all the way. You’re lucky to be there. If you consider it as a suffering, then why choose that course in the first place? If you don’t love what you do, you might as well not do it. If you know you have to, then bear with it. One way or another, you will realize that being a nurse is far from having any regrets.”
Palamoonin vs. Chidori
*different point of views, same person”
What the heck. Talking to yourself is weird. (My best friend does it every night. They say it’s a sign of intelligence. Ohh?)
I haven’t written anything since yesterday…seems like I’ve been so preoccupied (with reading manga…and burning some amvs).
Call me anime addict—manga addict—whatever.
It seems like even if I admitted it or deny it, people will still label me as such.
I know for a fact that I can live without these ‘addictions’ if you may call it that way.
I have survived the first half of my freshman life in college without watching animes—and I’m proud of it.
But as I move along to the second semester, which is a whole new level (if you think 1st sem was hard, then 2nd sem is nothing but a nightmare).
I have been clinging to watch these shows or read these mangas because I needed distraction.
I needed something that would shift my attention from doing the piles of school work lined up for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to be a dean’s lister, but I don’t want to work that hard or it.
I don’t know why…
Or maybe I do…
But I don’t want to admit it.
….
Heck.
I might as well admit it now.
(None of the people I know will be able to read this anyway…)
Ahem.
Here it is…
*clears throat again*
Maybe the main reason………… (okay it’s not “maybe”—it actually IS the main reason)
Is because I don’t want to give it my all—I don’t want to show others my best—because if I did, and didn’t make it, it will really crush my ego.
Simple as that, huh?
Yes… I guess.
I only want to reach a high standard without giving my all because if I make it, I will have to say; “No sweat. You should see what happens when I take this seriously.”—but I don’t, because I won’t.
And so when I fail, I will always have the reason: “oh, it came out that way because I didn’t exert much effort into it—no biggie. It’s not like I took it all seriously.”
But they got it all wrong.
I do take things seriously—in planning. (Only in planning, though)
I’ve already picture things on my mind on how I will do my tasks effectively,
Somehow, it ends up that I wouldn’t be doing anything at all…
Because I needed distraction.
I needed a break.
I just do all this “i-want-to-make-it” stuff to boost my ego—and that inter relates pleasing everyone (But I have to admit that it would be impossible)
Which is why I usually end up as a frustrated humanoid who always thinks about her problems like it’s everybody’s problem.
You get my point?
Hah.
I don’t too.
*I’m supposed to write something in English … a story, novel, whatever. Obviously, I haven’t started yet. Sighs…
Anyway… still have lots of school work to do.
TTFN
